LIFE AS IT IS

Facebooks statuses with Christmas wishes and celebration photos are almost flooding my newsfeed. And these statuses and photos are not coming from Christians but my Muslim friends from Bangladesh, India and Pakistan. What an admirable attitude towards a people of different faith! In the USA, I have personally met Christians whose minds and hearts are filled with hatred toward the Muslims. Many of them gave me a look of astonishment when I said to them that Muslims respect Jesus Christ as one of their most important prophets. Anyway, I wish I could share these Facebook statuses and photos with those particular Christians. There are peace-loving Muslims all over the world, just like there are peace-loving Christians everywhere. I have rarely been wished by a Christian acquaintance or friend on Eid. In the USA, most people do not even know much about Islam, the faith of over 1.6 billion people around the world. However, I did receive Eid wishes from a Christian friend, who is also a ...

When I think with my heart, people like me, but when I think with my head, people do not like it. But I am trying to master the latter because I have come to realize that this world will be a better and more peaceful place if man does not always follow his heart but think rationally with his head.

This world now appears to be teeming with zealous and overzealous people. But our zeal should not override our common sense.

My motherland has just turned 42! I love you and miss you, my homeland. I wish you peace, progress and prosperity now and always. I feel guilty, for I have not served you the way I wanted to. Living 10,000 miles away from you, I live a safe and comfortable life but a feeling of guilt gnaws me everyday. Maybe one day, I will do something worthwhile to make you feel proud of me. Long live, Bangladesh!      style="display:inline-block;width:728px;height:90px"      data-ad-client="ca-pub-1412858923217987"      data-ad-slot="2221625556">

You cannot tell the true potential of a child until he matures, for I saw kids, who barely passed exams in schools, went on to become PhDs.

One of the earliest teachings of life was, I should not waste food. It was not only because God does not like people who waste, but also because there are millions out there who do not have food to eat - I should therefore count my blessings. I have not forgotten my childhood lesson but in my present situation, I am compelled to waste food. In Bangladesh, I never saw food go to waste because there were always people around to eat food, fresh and leftover alike. We could give excess food to domestic helps, building security guards downstairs, and homeless and hungry people on the street. Guests would come and empty our refrigerator. I mean there was no way we could waste food - what a blessing! Here in the U.S., however, I have to waste food. In a family of three, where one member is only a year old, food goes to waste almost every other week. When I go grocery shopping, I try to buy foods in small quantities. But in a country where food portion sizes are big, I always have a diff...

Statuses eulogizing the contributions of Nelson Mandela to humanity flooded my Facebook newsfeed last night. These are people, who are not Africans. These are people, who are not Black. These are people, who never saw Mandela in person. But these are people, who always respected this world figure for his courage, tenacity and love for the mankind. Mandela will always be alive in the hearts of millions. When I think of great men like Nelson Mandela, I think that that was the  kind of life I should have led - a life that after I died would be remembered by people around the world, not just with regard but also affection. Sadly, my contribution to this world is nada. I hope my daughter grows up to a human being, who will do things to make this world a better place to live. His presence is so large that even people, whose lives he never affected directly, are sad about his demise. We are lucky to have witnessed a man, who is/was an inspiration for millions. The world would not be t...

In our part of the world, where chubby children are considered healthy and adorable, parents often fret over the physical appearances of their children. There are parents who routinely feed their children burgers, fries, pizzas, pastries, etc. from the belief that these will make their children appear healthy. Unfortunately, the term, healthy, is often associated with fat or overweight; chubby children are not necessarily healthy children. In a country, where malnutrition has always been a problem, the high economic growth of recent decades has introduced a new but starkly different kind of health concern - childhood overweight and obesity. In the preliminary results of a nationwide study conducted by the icddr,b on obesity prevalence and physical activity among children and adolescents in urban areas of Bangladesh, it was seen that of children aged  5-18 years, 10 per cent are overweight while 4 per cent are obese. The figures are alarming, considering the size of our young ...

Facebook's "Like" button seems to me one of the smartest virtual inventions of recent times. It has  saved its users' time and the trouble that they used to take in the past to comment on a photo, status or post. Today, a click on the "Like" button is enough to convey your feeling toward a post, but really? These days people "like" anything and everything. If you "like" my photo, I will "like" your next photo, even if you look like a lost witch in that picture. It is a give-and-take virtual relationship that people seem to have established on the Internet. Although the "Like" button saves us time and energy but I still like the old Facebook more, where if someone really liked your photo they had to scribble at least one word - pretty, beautiful, nice, sweet, hot or whatever - to express their feeling. Today, the click on the "Like" button does not really convey a friend's feeling - you will never kn...

Last August, we moved from Minnesota to Delaware, from America's Midwest to its East Coast. The move was exciting but exhausting at the same time. Coming from Bangladesh, such a relocation was like møving from Dhaka, the capital, to say, Bangkok, Thailand!  It was our third move in 5 years. But the first two relocations were inside Minnesota and therefore, less hectic. Our last move would have been super-hectic if my husband’s new employer had not agreed to provide and pay for professional movers, who packed everything for us. When I say everything, I mean everything. The movers packed our clothes, shoes, toiletries, crockery, pots & pans, spices, non-perishable food items, my child's toys and books, and what not. They even transported my husband’s car from Minneapolis, MN to Wilmington, DE. We never had a car transported before.  Considering the high costs of flying to and staying in Delaware for a few days to find an apartment, we depended solely on apartment-fin...

I was in Dhaka after four years for nineteen days. I was super excited about my trip. I was hoping to see positive changes — the new Mirpur-Airport Road flyover, the Hatirjheel project, etc. But it was something else beside the above-mentioned that caught my attention and made me fearful… the mushrooming of restaurants in Dhaka city. Growing up, fast food was something we ate only a handful of times every month. We would go to a Chinese restaurant on special occasions like birthday, parents’ marriage anniversary and own or sibling’s satisfactory performance in the yearly school exam. Dhaka did not have fancy fast food restaurants at that time. It was probably Helvetia and Dominous Pizza, which brought about a revolution in the fast food industry of the country. But before that, most of us would eat burgers, vegetable rolls, chicken or beef patties and sandwiches from local fast food shops that were neither chains nor franchises. Then slowly, days began to change and new restaurant...

When you are taking someone to your home country for the first time, you cannot help but be careful. You try to make sure that the food and water are safe and the weather is not too hot and humid. In September 2013, we took our daughter with us to Dhaka, Bangladesh on a short vacation. But who knew that taking her to my homeland would demand so much extra work! My 12-month-old daughter was traveling with us to Dhaka for the first time. The preparation for the trip began weeks ahead. Veteran moms advised me on food, water and weather of Dhaka city. I was going home after four years and I wanted to spend good time with friends and family - nursing a sick child was the last thing I wanted to do. Beside gifts, it was my daughter's foods, clothes and diapers that took most of our luggage space. I took four tins of baby formula for my three-week trip. I thought that would be enough but it was not - I had to go to Kids & Moms in Uttara to buy formula for her on the third week of ...

I never thought I would miss my hot and humid Dhaka days until moving to Minnesota, where, as the popular joke goes, the four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction a.k.a summer. For someone like me, who spent most of her life in a tropical country, summer is the only season that brings a sheer sense of happiness to her life abroad. In Minnesota, I have seen snow showers in May. I switched “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again -- yes, weather can be this unpredictable. In winter, I feel so good when the temperature is 0 degree Celsius because the average January temperature in Minneapolis is -11 degrees. It is therefore no wonder that I, more often than not, miss the hot and humid Dhaka, where I never had to put on four layers of clothing before stepping outdoors, where I could paint my nails and flaunt them almost all year round, and where I rarely wore any footwear other than sandals and open-toed shoes. Some people are sensitive to...

So, I have lived in the United States for 5 years now and my husband and I do not own a house. Surprised? Perhaps you are not but a lot of people ask us why we do not own a house yet. Well, we have not bought a house because we love living in apartments! What? Are you crazy? Isn't it why people like to live in the West, where owning a house is much easier than owning a house in Bangladesh? Well, yes maybe but... People ask us why we pay so much money for a place that is and will never be ours. I say, everyone's taste and philosophy are different. I know living in an apartment gives you less freedom - your property management decides everything for you - from the kind of floor you will have, the size of your closets to the color of your bathroom tiles - in short, just about everything. But I am happy with it as long as the things that they have chosen match my taste. I like living in an apartment because when something goes wrong in the house, I can just call up the managem...

"Time flies," I used this phrase innumerable times in my life, but most of the time, I had used it without really feeling its true meaning. In the past, I used "time flies" just because it is a very common phrase to mean that a period of time passed quickly. But today, I use "time flies" when I really mean it because now I can see before my eyes that time can actually fly. A baby in the house can change so many things. They change your lifestyle for sure, they change your spending pattern and how you used to keep your house during those pre-baby days. But I realized one big thing that is, a baby teaches you about time. Clocks became my best friend after Wareesha was born. I had to check time to see if her diaper needed to be changed, if she needed a feeding or if it was her nap time and what not. Then time literally began to fly. The tiny baby that we brought home from the hospital was helpless. She would be inside her swaddling blankets nearly 2...

What a weird title for a blog post! You must be wondering what she meant by a paper-eater. I was actually referring to my baby, who loves to eat paper. Oh well, I think a lot of other babies like to eat paper too... maybe. She loves to eat paper, any kind of paper. If paper were an edible item, it would probably be her favorite snack. She likes the glossy papers of magazines like Time and Fortune, she likes notebook papers, drawing papers and paper labels found on bottles and jars. She also loves crayon wrappers and price tags! On five occasions, I inserted my right index finger into her mouth to bring a piece of paper out. Like most 10-month-old babies, she is very mobile. She can crawl and cruise to every nook and corner of the house. She can open drawers, al kinds of drawers. She can open cabinets with even more ease. On an accent table in my living room, I used to have a pile of magazines. After I found out about her favorite snack, I stashed those magazines into the cabinet of...

Tweety was our three-year-old parakeet, who we got from a PetSmart store in St. Cloud, Minnesota, two-and-a-half years ago. He was our first pet and we loved him so much. We used to hand-feed him, give him a shower once a week and play with him almost every day - he would sit on my shoulders for hours. Sometimes, he would hide behind my ponytail. He loved music, especially Hindi film numbers! He would sing along and hop from one perch to another. He was blue and white - very handsome. Tweety is not with us anymore. He is at a foster home. I miss him every day but we had to give him away because we are moving to Delaware soon. When Tweety fell ill last month, my husband took him to the Como Park Hospital - he was suffering from what looked like a sinus infection, he was also underweight. They gave him two shots and sent him home. Although he began to recover from the infection, he was not the old Tweety anymore - he did not eat and he was not as active as he used to be. It was at tha...

Even before my baby was born, I heard two types of opinions from people I know. While one group opined that it was absolutely okay to let a baby cry, the other group (this group was much smaller in size) strongly debated against letting a baby cry. I thought that instead of listening to what others said, I should do my own research and find out why a baby cries, what should be done when a baby cries and what are the implications of letting a baby cry for prolonged periods of time. From the local public library, I borrowed Dr. Jenn Berman’s “SuperBaby,” a Los Angeles Times bestseller.  Dr. Berman, a licensed psychotherapist, writes in her book that when a baby cries for prolonged periods of time the level of stress hormone cortisol increases in his body.  This cortisol can have dangerous effects on the growing brain a baby, inhibiting its normal development. Babies, who experience long crying episodes, lack confidence in themselves when they grow up. Distraught episodes...

No, Trinky is not the name of a person or a pet - Trinky is my 10-month-old daughter's most favorite toy. Trinky is white and pink, she is made of cloth and cotton. She is adorable and she accompanies my daughter everywhere. Trinky is Wareesha's favorite toy. Perhaps, I should now call Trinky a rag of a toy because my daughter's chewing and chomping have done some permanent damages to her hands and legs. But Trinky is still my daughter's favorite companion. There is a funny story behind how we got Trinky: No, we did not buy Trinky. It happened last January when my aunt was visiting us from New York. Among a bunch of gifts that she got for Wareesha, there was a sleeper with very cute cow prints on it. The sleeper came with a soft toy, which looked like a cow. The sleeper was too small for my daughter so I returned it to my aunt. But I liked the soft toy cow so much that I asked her if I could keep it. My aunt agreed readily. That little soft toy cow was Trinky. We...

As I saw dozens of photos on Facebook of my friends eating out with their  mothers , I wondered if  Mother ’s  Day  is more about gift-giving and dining-out than actually recognizing what a  mother  does  for  her child. In the Unites States,  Mother ’s  Day  is one of the most commercially successful celebrations -- cakes, flowers, greeting cards and expensive gifts, such as jewelry worth billions of dollars are spent around this occasion.  Anna Jarvis, the West Virginian woman who founded  Mother ’s  Day  in the U.S.A., fought against the  commercialization  of this  day  until her death. She spent her money and time, speaking and working against what businesses have turned  Mother ’s  Day  into. In a survey carried out by the National Retail Federation (NRF) before this year’s  Mother ’s  Day , it was found that the Americans were expected to spend some $20.7...

When I look at my 8-month-old daughter now, I find it so hard to believe that she was once a tiny newborn. She weighed less than 6lbs, even though I gained 32lbs during my pregnancy. After her birth, she was unofficially named the "tiny baby" of Abbott Northwestern Hospital, Minneapolis! Every doctor and nurse who saw her called her a tiny baby. Now at 8 months, when I look at her, she looks so mature and strong (God bless her!) that I find it hard to believe that she was once a tiny newborn. When she sleeps next to me, I cannot help but put my nose against her soft skin. Sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of the night and give her a quick kiss on her forehead. I love her distinct "baby smell." I love to kiss her on the neck when she is in my lap. I love her so much! I know it is perfectly natural, but it often feels unnatural when I think about it. I love to run my fingers through her soft hair. Sometimes, I scratch the back of her head and she closes her...

So, my anklet arrived last Saturday. And it looks just as pretty as it looked online. Unlike most websites, the photos posted on Etsy are not photoshopped. What a wonderful thing! I am so happy with the anklet, the seller and the website as a whole. Yesterday, I ordered a handmade ball made of fabric for my 8-month-old daughter. With shipping, it cost me $6. I would say the price was very reasonable. The seller had a number of handmade balls to choose from on her virtual shop. I think Wareesha will love to play with it. Just a few hours after I placed my order, I received an email saying that the item had been shipped. That was quick! A couple of weeks ago, I bought a Papyrus card for a good friend of mine. Then yesterday, I suddenly decided to find out if there were handmade cards on sale on Etsy. Guess what, hundreds of handmade cards are available on Etsy. After a half-hour browsing, I ordered one for my friend. The seller made only piece of that particular card so I know that n...

The title may sound cliched. But the birth of my daughter has proved for the "nth" time that friends are indeed forever. (How? Well, it will take another write-up to explain why I think so, so I will not get into that discussion today.) But not all friends are forever, some friends are forever. Friendship is such a complicated relationship. I mean it always baffles me.  I talk a lot so I get along with people pretty well, provided that they do not do something to upset me. But other than that, I get along with people well from the first day I meet them. But getting along well does not necessarily make the person you are getting along well with your "friend." I have found it tougher and tougher with time to make new friends. The people I have befriended during my school years are still my closest friends. In college, I made some close friends too. But after college? Oh no! I have been living in Minnesota, USA, for the past 5 years. In the last 5 years I have made...

Yesterday, I was looking for an anklet to buy online. I have always loved anklets but the sad truth is I rarely find anklets in stores. Some stores do carry anklets but they just happen to be not my kind. So yesterday, I went to Amazon, Macy's and several other shopping sites to see if I could find an anklet that I could buy. After spending almost an hour, I came to my personal conclusion: women do not like wearing anklets! How come there are so limited choices available for anklet lovers?? Then accidentally, I bumped into a website  called www.etsy.com! Although Etsy has been around for a pretty long time I never heard of them  before. While browsing the site, I learned that the site was featured in major TV networks, newspapers and magazines. Etsy is a virtual marketplace for home-based business owners. It is literally a heaven for people, who love handmade goods. While browsing the jewelry on Etsy, I came across a few anklets that I absolutely loved. I ordered one...

I have seen babies as young as one month old spending time before the television. They watch everything — from the English Premier League, SpongeBob SquarePants to Hindi daily soaps! But have we ever wondered what television viewing from a very young age may do to our children? Yes, television can occupy your children for hours. Apparently, they love TV programs. But the truth is the undeveloped brain of a baby cannot process more than one function at a time. As a result, she cannot shift her attention from the television screen, she keeps staring at it regardless of whether she understands a word or not. Moreover, a baby cannot and does not understand TV programs. American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends no television time for babies under the age of two. Research has shown that a child’s brain grows rapidly during the first two years of his life. What exposure to television and other entertainment media does is prevent the normal development of this brain. A child learn...

The weather is finally getting better. I like living in Minnesota. Well, to be specific, in Minneapolis. Had it not been for its long, frigid winter, I would have considered settling down in this midwestern state. But to me, sunny days are important. I feel down when the sun hides behind white and grey clouds. I wish to live in a place, where I can go out for a walk with my daughter, where I can wear open-toed sandals for most part of the year and where I will not have to put on massive coats and jackets for 4/5 months in a row. I have seen the longest winter of my life this year. Well, the winter started last year but continued into April of this year. It even snowed in May! In May? Is nature kidding with us? I am probably one of those very few living people to have witnessed snow showers in May. I was almost thinking that the cold weather would last forever until it suddenly began to warm up from last week. Well, the temperature will dip tomorrow though but at least we hav...

I beg to differ with those who think that fatness comes with the pregnancy package. People ask me how I managed to go back to my pre-pregnancy body weight in just 6 months. I tell them that it is not as difficult as it might seem. All one needs to do is eat healthy and exercise. I feel so happy every time I wear an old pair of pants - there was a time when I thought that I would never fit into them again! From the day I learned I was expecting I tried to eat as healthy as I could. My daily meals included milk, eggs, wheat bread, rice, freshwater fish, chicken and lots of fruits and vegetables. I avoided fast food and fizzy drinks. I ate more than I used to because I needed to gain weight for my baby but I did not overeat. A lot of women tend to think that one needs to eat for two people when pregnant. Such a misleading idea! I am not a health professional but I can tell you from my personal experience that it is so not true. All a pregnant woman needs to consume is an additional 20...

For someone like me, who loves to walk, the long, snowy winters of Minnesota bring nothing less than frustration with the weather. In the first few years here I could only walk outdoors during the summer and early fall — the rest of the year I moved about in our car and the public bus. But it changed after we moved to Minneapolis, which is believed to boast the world’s most extensive skyway system. Now I can walk about downtown Minneapolis in spring, summer, fall and even frigid winter. Its climate-controlled skyways stretch more than 8 miles and one can find almost everything there. By everything I mean that without having to go in the open air, one can go to her bank, health clinic, dentist’s office, pharmacy, salon, spa, department stores, post office and last but not least, her favorite coffee shops and restaurants. If one stands in the city’s downtown area and looks up, one will be amazed by the huge metal-glass footbridges that have connected the city’s various high-rise bu...

When I found out I was expecting, I was both excited and anxious. I was excited for obvious reasons but I was anxious because like all other mothers, I too wanted a healthy baby and feared for my baby’s health. From the very first day, I read as much as I could about babies and pregnancy. I took time to go to the local public library to borrow books about babies. Certain things in life are inevitable but there are some things that every expectant mother can do to have a healthy pregnancy. I walked. I walked every day. On days when I could not go outdoors, I walked inside our apartment. I would turn some music on and walk for at least 30 minutes. I even managed to walk about half a mile three days before my daughter was born. Walking during pregnancy is not only a good cardiovascular exercise but it is the only kind of exercise that you can do throughout your pregnancy. But don’t overstretch or exhaust yourself. Walk as much as your body can handle. I kept myself hydrated. I neve...

When she sleeps in my lap, I gaze at her. I gaze at her because I still find it hard to believe that I carried her for nine months. I touch her soft hair, her tiny fingers and toes, I pull her little round nose, I squeeze her cheeks and gently massage her arms. No, nothing wakes her up. She squirms for a few seconds but does not become fully awake. She perhaps knows that she is in a place that is as safe as it can be. The pain was harrowing, nothing I ever felt before. The twenty-three hours of labour seemed like twenty-three days of suffering. Her back was against my back when her back should have been against my belly. The result? Back-breaking labour. Yes, I had back labour, which is far more painful than normal labour. I thought I would pass out. A few times I thought I would die giving birth to my daughter. In spite of everything it was the first time in my life I thought I was strong. I always had an idea that I was physically weak but the birth of Wareesha just blew that idea ...