LIFE AS IT IS

We celebrated Eid-ul-Fitr here in the U.S. yesterday. We cooked special food, talked to our families back home and watched TV at night. It was not a day too different from a regular day except for my husband went to the mosque for his Eid prayer and took the day off. But Eid in Bangladesh used to be so different. We would visit and call relatives and friends, watch special Eid programs on TV, eat loads of good food and collect salami/eidi (a monetary Eid gift from relatives older than you). Here, Eid comes and goes by and in some years, we don't feel that it really came. Sometimes I wish I lived in a mega-city like NYC or Chicago, where you can feel the festivities around the occasion. We thought we would visit NYC this time, but changed our minds later... perhaps, we will visit NYC next year, when my daughter will be almost three. We did not cook much this time around - saffron polao/pilaf, chicken roast and a salad followed by firni, a traditional rice custard cooked with...

There are times when everything seems meaningless. We live in a dismal world, where war, poverty, death and violence make headlines. When I think of the comfort I enjoy in my every day life, I cannot help but thank the Almighty. This morning, everything suddenly seems meaningless. I know I am rambling but sometimes, you cannot find the right words to express what you feel deep inside. I am thinking of the children that are dying every day in Gaza. I think of their parents and what they feel. I wonder what a child feels when he/she hears that his/her father/mother/sibling is no more. I ask myself, what would I have done if my daughter died a similar death? Would I have been strong enough to survive the grief? I think of the lives that we are losing in the air. The unexpected and deadly plane crashes are leaving thousands of people without friends and family. I cannot imagine what those passengers felt when the planes caught fire and lost their control. I wonder what the friends ...

People have often called me a tomboy. A tomboy? But I could not and cannot not care less when people call me a tomboy. After all, what does the word mean? A girl who behaves in a boyish manner? A girl who does not fall under the "socially-constructed" definition of how a girl should and must behave? I am sorry but I cannot be what I am not. After all, these socially-constructed definitions are man-made. And man-made things change over time. If I do not like wearing a lot of make-up and jewelry, I wonder how it bothers others. My favorite possessions are my watches, not my bracelets or bangles. But that's the way I am. I wear very little jewelry because I feel suffocated when I wear too much of them . I do not have anything against anyone. It does not perturb me when I see girls wearing make-up and jewelry. As a matter of fact, most girls look more beautiful when they wear make-up and jewelry. It's just that I don't feel comfortable wearing them. Yes, I do we...

It's easier to irritate me than to hurt me.      style="display:inline-block;width:728px;height:90px"      data-ad-client="ca-pub-1412858923217987"      data-ad-slot="2221625556">

I was reading a friend's note on Facebook this morning - it was about a truck driver who was kind enough to give her a free ride when she got stranded in a new place. Her story brought back the memories of a day in Carlisle, PA. It was the summer of 2005 and I was attending a tri-nation youth leadership program on the campus of Dickinson College.  One evening, a group of us went out for shopping. We walked to a shopping plaza, which was about a 20-minute walk from the campus. On our way back, we got caught in the rain. I think there were four of us in the group. We were standing on the pavement, getting drenched and praying that someone would stop his car and give us a ride back. We had no umbrella or cell phone with us. We did not even know that rain was coming and all of us were in the U.S. for the first time. As we waited, a taxi driver stopped his car in front of us, asking if we needed a ride. We were so glad that he could spot us in that heavy rain. After he dropped us ...

Sometimes I feel like sitting by a river and doing nothing When I say doing nothing, I don’t mean doing nothing though. I mean I want to dip my fingers and feel the cold water, I want to pick a leaf that fell from a nearby tree, Look at it, run my fingers on it, press it against my cheek, And then float it down the river.  Then watch the leaf float, float and float...

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and the dream from last night lingers on - it takes some time and effort to bring yourself back to reality.

Potty-cleaning occupies such a large part of my life nowadays that it's no wonder the first word the letter, P, reminds me of is "potty." My husband and I first started to potty-train our daughter after she turned one. We went through a lot after that - we braved many storms. And at one point, we simply gave up. Every child has his/her own growth chart. Some babies learn things earlier than the others and vice versa. When I heard that the daughter of a friend was potty-trained at 18 months, I felt I should make that happen too. I asked my friend for tips, she gave me a bunch of them. But I was not satisfied so I went to parenting websites for additional potty-training tips. I tried them. I tried many things, which included, but were not limited to, decorating my daughter's potty with stickers to make it appear appealing to her, and buying a musical potty, which screamed, Yay! when the sensor felt the heat of weewee and poop. Everything failed! I talked to my bio...

The aroma of dates, spicy chickpeas and fried food prepared from lentils and vegetables is missing in the air, so is missing the ambience of Ramadan, but life goes on - we fast like we did when we lived in Bangladesh. But some things are not the same as before. Muslims are fasting for more than 16.5 hours here in the U.S. state where I live. Ramadan is so different away from home, where work starts late and ends early during this holy month. Here, on most days, we skip suhoor/sehri, the early morning meal. We eat our last meal at 11 p.m. and go to sleep. But in Bangladesh, eating sehri with family was an integral part of Ramadan. We would drag our half-asleep body from bed to eat sehri with other family members. The early morning meal was followed by chitchat over steaming cups of tea until the muezzin's call for Fajr prayer echoed in the air. Eid-ul Fitr shopping almost always began before Ramadan. Here, Eid comes and goes by and most years, we do not gift ourselves new cloth...

We changed four cities in the last five years. Exciting, it may sometimes sound, but "changing city" is a stressful affair. We hired movers the last two times - the movers are a blessing but it does not mean that you can relax in a couch while they work. You have to be with them in case they have a question, or need help with something. Once you are in the new house, you need to clean every nook and corner of it to make it livable(!). The property managements' definitions of cleanliness almost never match mine. What a sad thing! So, I usually have to start with the bathrooms, followed by the kitchen, bedrooms and then the living room. Then my husband and I fret over where we should place our bed, the dresser, the couches, the floor lamps, the rugs, etc., etc after they arrive. Should we place the TV in the right or left corner of the living room? Or should we just mount it on the living room wall? Then the size of your new house also matters. Our new apartment in ...

If fame makes you want to fly then you are probably not worthy of fame. The word, modesty, exists for a good reason.