Motherhood has instilled in me a different type of emotion, an emotion whose existence I was unaware of in those pre-mommy years of life. Today, when I see suffering children, turbulent emotions rupture my heart. Sometimes, I shed tears in silence. I ask myself if all this emotional overflow is because of my new identity as a mother. Perhaps.
Every child deserves a happy childhood. But to millions of children around the world, "happiness" is a word that carries little or no meaning. Many a child’s childhood is snatched away at such an early age that they never know what it feels to go to school five days a week, eat three good meals a day, or sleep without having to worry about their houses being blown up by enemy troops.
In any conflict, it's the children who suffer the most. When I see images and video footages of living and dead children of Palestine and Syria, I sit still before my computer and know not what to feel. Sometimes I wonder what I myself would have done if one of these children was mine. I ask myself, how would you react if this little girl wrapped in a shroud was your own daughter? I saw images of dead children in the past too, but they never felt like someone driving a lance through my conscience.
I have somehow learned to associate with a child’s suffering. I can feel a child's pain without touching him, sitting face-to-face with him, or watching him suffer firsthand. My senses are now sharper than they ever were. Motherhood has made me a better listener, seer and smeller.
Here in the USA, I do not meet underprivileged children in my day-to-day life. But when I visit Dhaka, I meet them in the streets; I meet them while waiting in traffic; I meet them in front of our apartment building and outside malls and restaurants. It hurts me, it hurts me to the point that I bite my lips and look away. I see my child in every little unfortunate child I meet. It's then when I understand that while as a mother I can feel their pain, I cannot do much to ease it.
I think every little hapless soul is my child and yet I cannot do much to make them happy. I feel guilty inside.
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