LIFE AS IT IS

If you love noise, laughter, clink of gold bangles, gossip, full-flavoured food, makeup, music, insincere praises, and have a skin thick enough to endure caustic remarks about your age, weight, height and marital status, a 'deshi' wedding is 'the' place to be.   The Daily Star link  Nov. 29, 2016 It is a place where you walk into people of all possible kinds – big, small, old, young, men, women, children - a microcosm of the society you live in!   Wedding season is here at our doorsteps and very soon you will be at the receiving end of one of those spendthrift wedding invitation cards calling you for a regal wedding consisting of thirteen functions and more. Consider yourself lucky if you have not been to one of those weddings but either way, royal or not, weddings are your free ticket to scrumptious meals and the Bengali circus where you will most likely encounter a diverse collection of people – some of them leaving you mentally scarred for life! You me...

Have you ever taken on any project to improve or repair your home? If not, you could probably give it a try because DIY (do-it-yourself) projects are not only fun, they are self-satisfying, too.  They also provide a rare opportunity for creativity, imagination and self-expression. The Daily Star link I myself never thought I could actually do something apparently as difficult as staining two staircases, not the steps, but the areas around them. We hired a contractor to do some household improvement jobs and staining the staircases were part of them. But our contractor had to go out of state on some work and the project of stairway staining had to be pushed back by a week. We grew restless. We did some research online to find out what exactly needed to be done for such a project. But we had never undertaken a DIY project before and therefore, lacked confidence. So we thought we should perhaps visit a home improvement supplies store first and consult the staff there; they are...

How many things can you live without? I asked myself not once, but many times. And every time I asked myself, a voice in my head answered, “You can live without most of the things you own right now!” The Daily Star link According to statistics, we wear just 20 percent of our clothes 80 percent of the time. I personally can vouch for its accuracy, because in my closet, I have some tops and dresses that I have not worn in more than three to five years. I have not yet donated them because I still like them, but putting them on never crosses my mind! I have a handful of favourite clothes and footwear that I pick almost every time I step out. Like many people, I purchase shoes, clothes, accessories and household items on impulse, but only to realise afterwards that they hardly complement me in any way. But more and more people are moving away from such impulsive shopping habits. They are moving towards leading a more wholesome life instead. The world is seeing a new kind of...

জীবন যদি একটি পাতা হয় আমি চাইব ঝিরঝিরে হাওয়া প্রতি মুহূর্ত আমাকে ঘিরে থাকুক। বসন্তের মৃদুমন্দ বাতাসে আমি দেখব নীলিমা, দেখব নদী, ফুল, মাঠ। জীবন যদি একটি পাতা হয়, চাইব হতে মস্ত কোন বৃক্ষের পল্লব, বাঁচব আমি ভূমি হতে অনেক উঁচুতে কিন্তু আকাশ থেকে খুব দূরে নয়। 

A gold maple leaf parted with its mother and glided down in a dancing motion to join its brethren on the ground; they all congregated at the base of their mother's trunk, as if waiting for something big and important to unravel.  The desiccated leaves skirted around their mother, forming a yellow-brown crunchy blanket that rustled every time the wind blew. An unruly gust would sometimes, however, disrupt this sombre congregation. The gust would send them in disarray. And when it did, the leaves rolled all over the grass, hitting stones, trunks of other trees, cars and even young joggers' running shoes.  The Daily Star link On those occasions, the shrivelled leaves reminisced about the days when they were young, green and bursting with vigour -- the time when they lived close to the boundless sky, not on the soggy ground of autumn.     The mother maple, which was green and strong even a month ago, was fading and growing frail. She seemed to be getting old fa...

Right after I became a mother, my mother was with me the first few months, and my husband was and continues to be a huge support, yet there were many days when I felt overwhelmed by the responsibilities which came along with our bundle of joy.   It seemed like I could no longer enjoy the simple pleasures of life-- watch a film, read a book, take a long shower, relish a good meal, or even sleep. In fact, whenever I managed some free time during the day, I would just slump into my bed and snooze, from exhaustion. The Daily Star link I would often hold my newborn in my arms, and wonder if a day would really come when I would be able to sleep 5 hours at a stretch, dreaming of getting a good night's sleep, which I could not get until my daughter turned 4 months.  Before she was born, we could go out anytime as there was no need to worry about another person's sleep routine or feeding schedule. After she came, things changed of course. Her diaper bag became my purse, whe...

A running faucet often reminds me of a fountain that flows without a pause out of a crack in the rocks. 

This is so, so, so true! Reading a book is so much more pleasurable. You direct your own film in your head as you read a book. And you love that film so much that you cannot love the same film directed by a different director. Every time you wish to re-watch the film, all you need to do is re-read the book.

When I asked 29-year-old Sadia, a banker by profession, if she had any plans for the next weekend, she simply replied, “No, not really. I might just go out with friends for a late lunch on Saturday. That's all.”  "There is hardly ever anything to do around, you know,” she added, after a small pause.  The Daily Star link  Oct. 18, 2016 Sadia is not the only person who thinks there is not much to do for entertainment in Dhaka though. To many city dwellers, entertainment is now equivalent to shopping, dining, watching TV and spending time on the Internet.  But does entertainment mean lunching at a fancy restaurant, shopping around for a fashionable garb, or spending long hours on the Internet? No, not really!  Entertainment means taking a break from your everyday life to enjoy the things that you never had a chance to enjoy, or have not enjoyed in a long time. It can also mean doing something different and meaningful to fulfil your self-actualisation ne...

Joyeeta slumped down in the sofa, too exhausted to relish a proper meal at the end of a dull day at work. She rubbed her eyes, which had not enjoyed a good night's sleep in four days. Sitting quietly on the couch, she tried to recall the last time she took a long shower, breathed in the crisp morning air, or buried herself in the pages of a paperback.  Soon Joyeeta started to feel miserable, because it had been a while since she spent some time doing things she loved. Tears began to well up in Joyeeta's eyes - her shoulders suddenly burdened from the worldly duties that sat stubbornly on them.  The Daily Star link   Oct. 11, 2016 Like Joyeeta, are you not often overwhelmed by the earthly responsibilities that rest heavily on your poor shoulders? Don't you sometimes feel that your mind and body are so fatigued that they are screaming for a break, a real break? If yes, then it is high time you de-cluttered your mind for a better and healthier tomorrow. Do not...

We generalise and we generalise every day. We make broad statements about other people based on specific cases. We generalise purposely, unintentionally, consciously, sub-consciously, and even unconsciously; we generalise without thinking twice because it has become our habit to generalise - an unhealthy habit nonetheless.  The Daily Star link Generalisation is not a first-world or a developing-world problem; it is a global problem. People of all sorts of backgrounds have a tendency to 'paint with a broad brush' - white, black, brown, men, women, rich, poor, young, old, American, European, Asian, educated, uneducated, religious, and irreligious alike. We make broad statements about a group based on the actions of a few members of that group. It slips from our minds that exceptions also exist.     We take one or two of our bitter experiences to judge all the people of a particular gender, race, religion, country, culture, or profession. But is that fair?  Th...

I was a heavy packer once. If it were possible to take my entire house to a vacation, I would have probably considered that too! I would all the time take more clothes and toiletries than necessary, and when I returned from a vacation, I would always discover that I did not wear most of the clothes that I had carried.  I realised time and again there was no need to take, say, eight tops and tees for two days – maybe four would have been just enough. I understood over time that I was not doing anything wise, and that I should do something to bring an end to this habit of lugging my entire world with me everywhere I go.   The Daily Star link  It is always best to make a list of things you need to take with you - the list helps tremendously. On my last three out-of state trips, I managed to carry all my things in one carry-on luggage. I learned through experience that a lot of times it is all about how you place your clothes in your bag. For example, it is better to ...

Our ancestors picked wild berries, hunted wild animals, caught fish in lakes, and scooped up water from streams to quench their thirst and satiate their hunger. At night, they lay on their backs under a star-spangled sky and wondered how far the moon was. Mankind's love for nature therefore runs in the blood. Google Images Our DNA carries memories and experiences of the thousands of years our forefathers lived in the wilderness. And even though we don't live in the wild anymore, we bond with nature instantly and instinctively.  The Daily Star link  Sept. 20, 2016 I grew up in Dhaka. And although Dhaka was a metropolis even in the '80s and '90s, there were still safe public parks and patches of green here and there, where people could walk, rest, and enjoy nature.  As a child, I often visited the Jatiya Sangsad Bhaban with my father. On fall and winter mornings, I would see dewdrops hanging lightly from blades of its lush lawn grass. I would inhale the sme...

Somehow I have grown this fascination for kitchen windows. Oh, no, wait, it was actually my last home, where I lived for exactly 3 years, that sowed this seed of love for kitchen windows into my heart and head. We moved in to a new house this past weekend and thankfully, this one boasts a kitchen window, too, although not as beautiful as the one I had in my old penthouse. But I have one, at least!  I am glad there is an opening in my kitchen through which I can catch a glimpse of the outside world as I wash dishes, fruits and vegetables. My new kitchen window overlooks my backyard, which is pretty, but not as pretty as the blue heaven, which I could enjoy from the kitchen of my seventh-floor penthouse. Through this window, too, sunshine glides in, not in the morning, but in the afternoon only. But that's okay, I can live with it.  I am content with having any kind of kitchen window because over the past 3 years, I learned that a kitchen without a window could be a suff...

When I was young, I did not know how important it was to stick to one’s long-standing values and principles. But I saw my dad do it. I will not go into detail but let’s just say, the lives of the four of us (my parents, me and my brother) changed overnight. All of a sudden, it meant making adjustments to many things - little adjustments and big adjustments. It meant getting used to taking an auto-rickshaw to college instead of a car and it meant not getting to eat chicken every day. I used to be angry with my father because I believed he was the reason my comfortable life was suddenly lost. We paid a high price for his honesty, so did he. But those events and changes in my life made me what I was to become. Today, when I look back in time, my heart fills with respect and gratitude for my father, who never budged an inch from his values, principles and what he thought was morally correct. Today, when I think of those days, I feel that I would have done the same, if I were in his pl...

A good song has healing effects on its listeners. Regardless of how much the lyrics are infused with words that wrench one's heart, I think a good song still has the power to calm a troubled mind, or soothe a heart in love or despair. A well-sung, well-written and well-composed song has therapeutic effects on the human mind. Songs share with us stories - both told and untold. Songs lift our spirits, make us smile and beam. Songs even make us shed a tear or two in the solitary hours of the night when the rest of the world is fast asleep. Some songs are so poignant that they bring back memories of the people we lost in a distant past. And some are so powerful that they touch a deep chord with us every time we listen to them.

I looked out the window at the sound of voices, voices of bubbly children. Two of them were frolicking, one biking and the fourth one was what looked like teaching himself how to skateboard. From a distance, I could barely make out what they were laughing about. I wondered if the one with a skateboard lost his balance and fell over. Or if the girl in pink skirt cracked a joke or shared a funny story from her school. Or maybe they were laughing 'cause they were just happy. The y were perhaps happy without any reason!  Do you always need a reason to laugh or to be happy? Well, if you are an adult then you do perhaps need a reason. But if you are a child, you do not really care to justify to others why you are making that ear-splitting spontaneous sound and clutching your stomach as you are swaying left to right!  One of the beauties of childhood is you can laugh without a reason - you can laugh all you want but nobody stares at you or thinks you could be out of your m...

The morning breeze of late August feels a tad bit chilly. Not the kind of chilly that covers your skin with goose bumps, but the kind of chilly that makes you want to tilt your head back, close your eyes and let your cheeks, chin and neck feel the crisp air. The gentle wind that dances in your home on a sunny August morning is the harbinger of autumn, the season that turns green leaves to red, yellow, orange, brown and a multitude of other hues only seen in this vibrant season of the year. While I am not a fan of winter, I surely am a fan of fall. It is a delight to the eyes when you spot the trees in your neighborhood experience a change in color – they toss their green to accept Mother Nature’s gifts of Venetian red, crimson, ruby, peach, tangerine, amber and marigold. On a windy fall afternoon, if you ever peek through your window, you can hear the leaves gossip about the frosty days that would soon change everything in nature. And when they finally fall off...